As I look out of my window, yesterday’s snow has turned to a steady, heavy rain. The sky is grey, the clouds hang low, and my little town is socked in. A typical Canadian West Coast winter’s day. One of those days. My mood is a reflection of what it is like outside today. Actually, not so much my mood as how my physical body is feeling. Those who live with depression understand the feeling. There is an ad that runs on Canadian Television that talks about mental health and depression. It says, “Depression hurts”. It’s also physically exhausting. Combine that with a years long affliction with chronic pain and a not too healthy relationship with the bottle, and, well you get the picture. Some days it all adds up the perfect emotional storm. Today, it’s not so much an emotional downer as it is just a tiredness. It has taken everything I have just to write these few sentences. But, I did it. That’s a small victory. Actually, for me, it’s a big victory. Normally, I would throw up my hands and say, “Screw this!”, and give up defeated.
Small victories like this add up.